surreal.

rocking my daughter to sleep in the room i grew up in, struggled hard in and healed in has been such a surreal experience.( if you haven't read my story, then you might not know what i am referring to.)

yesterday, as i lulled lillian to sleep i couldn't help but smile.  smile so big that a tear started to run down my cheek.  i am filled with pride, gratitude and love. surrounded by the room that i hid away in, i feel liberated.  i feel free. i feel like myself. i feel fully bloomed, expressed and open.

this is who i always wanted to be and now i am here.

wow.

there are so many that struggle like i did, and continue to do so today.  if any of you are reading this or ever do, keep fighting. as i always call it, "the other side" is there.  and it is oh so beautiful and rich.  it is a new beginning, a second chance and a whole new world, where your eyes are fully open, colors are bright and love is all around- esp. for yourself, the most important person in the world.

a new face.

notice anything?

i am so excited to share with you my new blog design created by the amazing caitlin at lark creatif. she is inspirational with her work, so sweet and just the nicest person to work with! thanks caitlin for all your hardwork and patience with me. i love it.

while caitlin has been hard at work making my amazing new header, lillian & i have been on vacation

 side note:: sometimes i wish i popped out a kid at 14 so i could have started this sham life a bit earlier. no joke, its straight up amazing! side note to my side note:: i am just kidding. sort of.

anywho, life with granne (aka my mom) is awesome. 

 

 

i love my little munchkin. and she loves the water!

catching up.

yeah! my internet is finally back up and running.  we had the craziest storms here in nashville in the middle of the night on monday.  we spent almost an hour in our "safe place" ie. our downstairs bathroom waiting out the storm which consisted of 70 mph winds, thunder, lighting, heavy rain and quarter-sized hail. sounded like someone was throwing marbles at our house. unreal. makes me so scared when i think of something happening to lillian...thankfully we are all ok, our neighborhood is a bit of a mess, but we have already lost all the tress on our property this tornado season, so we have nothing left to fall! craziness.

we have had a great beginning of the week, hanging with friends...

reading books...

and swimming in the pool :)

hank left for a golf vacation with all his friends this afternoon so lillian and i decided to head to CT for memorial day.  we leave tomorrow to hang with family :) so looking forward to it.

also went to the doctor on monday, lillian is almost fourteen pounds! and is ready to start food.  our pediatrician gave us all the information we would need to go the traditional route, but, as i am not always a traditionalist we are going to try baby led weaning which really just means lillian will let me know when she is ready to eat and what she eats, she chooses too! i will introduce a few foods at a time, one every four days or so.  she will have the opportunity to hold it and guide it to her own mouth, rather than being spoon fed.  this allows her to have fun, explore eating, chewing and eat with us at the table :) i hear it is quite a messy process, but can't wait.  she has just started to stick her tongue out at me, a sign she is in control of her tongue, one step closer to eating! 

i will continue to breastfeed of course in the meantime, and think it will probably closer to 6 mo or so before she is ready, but we will see :)  my friend heather is doing it with her baby girl summer, and as been so inspirational for me & lillian. thanks heather!

off to pack!

thank you, blog.

my dearest blog, thank you for reminding me to take pictures all the time so that i can have all the moments captured that i will cherish forever.  

reality.

my sister wrote me the other day after she read one of my posts and asked, are all your days this joyous? it got me thinking, no, they aren't! i have my days where lillian won't nap, i am exhausted, she is out of her routine and i am out of things to do.  i know she doesn't want to be on her play mat anymore, we have done our tummy time, taken a shower just because and it is only 2pm.

but,

this blog is for sharing the joy, which does out weight the rest.  no one wants to read me bitching and moaning, or, i just don't want to write about it.  for anyone who reads this blog, i want them to walk away knowing having a baby is the most amazing experience, full of difficult times yes, but always so rewarding.  those days that we struggle together, when they are over, i feel like a better mom. i made it though, and at the end of it, can smile and sleep.  every day i learn something, every day i smile and every day i thank God i have this amazing little nugget i get to call my daughter.

swollen with pride.

the hubs graduated from his mba program this weekend and i couldn't be more proud. my heart swells with excitement for him, i am amazed, inspired and impressed by his dedication to what he really wants out of life.  love you so much hank, thank you for being such in inspiration to me and now, our daughter :)

we celebrated the occasion with lots of family who came from near and far to be with us. i without a doubt won the in-law lottery with hank's fam.  they are amazing.  'nough said.

{hank's dad, hank, sister maggie & mom}

tummy time.

lillian is lovin' her tummy time in the mornings.

i double dare you not to smile :)

joy.

today was full of joy.

lillian was full of giggles.

 she napped in her crib both this morning and this afternoon!

we walked with heather & summer at percy warner park (always such a treat).

and

hank planted our crape myrtle.

{haha. amazing.}

the perfect weekend.

this past weekend was absolute bliss.

saturday we had some friends over for a little "bbq".

 grilled chicken & sausage, blue cheese slaw, basil carrots (thanks to Heather!), heirloom tomatoes & mozzerella and my new favorite thing in the world, kale and quinoa salad.

 family shot :)

lillian and her bff summer (heather and chris's gorgeous little 6 month old).

heather has become such a dear friend and i am so grateful for her and summer.

we also had rachel and hoyt over, hoyt and hank go to school together and i hadn't met rachel (other than reading her blog, which is a must here).  it was so good to gain some new friends! rachel is an amazing interior designer- i secretly would love for her to re-design our home :)

 sunday brought stunning weather and with it an amazing mothers day.  we started our day dining al fresco.

lillian loves her new seat :)

hank surprised me with a tree for our front lawn in honor of lillian.  a piece of her will forever be in this home even though we won't be.  love. i have the sweetest hubs.

i ended the day teaching 6 momma's-to-be prenatal yoga. dangerous because i miss being preggo. not enough yet...

we topped it all off walking to a local restaurant for a quick meal and some cold beer.

perfection.

one more picture of lillian, because, well, i can't seem to get enough of her.

happy mothers day

i have an amazing mother.

i am sure you are nodding your head in agreement . . .

but, i am for real. she is a straight up superhero.

period.

mom, thank you for being truly amazing. for inspiring the uninspired, for supporting me through constant ups and downs and never forgetting to tell me you love me.  

i am now a mom because of you.  i honor you. you amaze me.

thank you. i love you so much.

happy mothers day everyone! and thank you to my husband, hank, for making this a mother's day i will never forget :)

a much needed break.

this past week and a half lillian and i traveled to connecticut to spend some time with family. hank joined us later in the week and we really had such an amazing time.

lillian is so loved.

i have been doing a lot of thinking this past week on where i want my blog to go now that lillian is here. i started it to chronicle my pregnancy and have really loved entering the amazing world of blogging. i have support from so many other bloggers as a new mom, and want to continue to add my two sense to world wide web :) so, you might hear less from me until i revamp and really evolve this space into what i want! hang tight! i will be back :)

love from l and m.

xo