ode to dads.

so fathers day has come and gone but i really have been thinking so much lately about how amazing some men in my life are at being dads. of course, i am bias to hank being an unbelievable father, but really, he truly is.

before hank and i became parents though, we were blessed with amazing examples of what was to come. so, here is the kick off to my dad interviews, my ode to fathers. these are some i know, love, am inspired by and look up to (and i know hank would agree). so cheers to dads!

 

my first victim interviewee is tom. tom is my brother in law and is the proud dad to jack, my adorable and giggly almost 2-yr old nephew. when i met tom it was love (well you know, potential sister-to-be love) at first sight. he is funny, and everyone knows him that way, but how i have gotten to know him is as one of the most genuine, sincere and open people i know. he is the best man for the job, as far as i am concerned, of being my sisters husband (lets face it, us fenn's aren't an easy bunch) and such a gift to his main man jack. tom, thank you for being exactly who you are because you kick a** (trying to keep this PG).

love you!

 

 the early days...

 

 

1. Where do you get your gusto for being a dad? 

Good question...it's hard to think about "gusto" for something so permanent.  I consider myself very lucky to have Jack and always remember that fun and memories with him are my priority.  At a high level, most people have a natural tendency to want to please others.  Children are the ultimate audience.  The way I see it, every second of every day is a new opportunity to please, teach, bring laughter, or love Jack.  My enthusiasm comes from wanting to show him new things and to entertain him, and my reward is his reactions and development.  Sometimes that reward comes with an extra snotball or soggy peanut butter, but then I can pretend I don't see it until his mother comes over.  All part of the fun.

 

2. Give us insight into a "normal" day for you. 
Below is a snapshot of basically every weekday...

• Alarm:  Jack on the monitor, "Momma?  Dadd-o?  Elmo?"
• Morning workout:  Sing and dance to Bubble Guppies and Mickey Mouse Club
• See how much of my shower is private before Jack comes in fully clothed with food
• Workday:  Frantically get work done with as few breaks as possible to get at least an hour with Jack and Meeghan
• Lunch:  Text Meeghan new lyrics to Bubble Guppies' songs, based on actual conversations we need to have, like weekend plans
• Evening workout:  Drag racing in the kitchen and costume parties featuring "Big Gay Mr. Coke Man," Jack's favorite superhero
• Hygiene revisited:  Disinfect Jack's feet / shoes from a long day's sweat
• Jack's Bedtime:  Learning how to bear hug; the best part of my day
• Dinner time:  Meeghan or I reluctantly make one of the 5 meals we are capable of
• Evening:  Lose Meeghan to utter exhaustion; Finish work, but in the comfort of an oversized couch rather than a flourescent-lit office

 

3. What has shifted for you personally as you have become a father?

The following bullet points succintly wrap this up:

• My FOMO has decreased dramatically.  I no longer have the Fear of Missing Out on random events like drinks, a kickball game, etc.  My actual social life has gone by the wayside...my fantasy football team, on the other hand, is looking sharper than ever.
• I make decisions with a lot more in mind, including what may happen 15 years from now and what we want for Jack.  This is a far cry from deciding on how to get home at 3am, but baby steps to being a "real adult," as Meeghan would say.
• I love and appreciate my wife more than ever.  The only way I can describe this is that it must be similar to the way a Super Bowl team is bonded for life after a 20-point deficit at half.  I haven't won the Super Bowl before, but it wouldn't top this.

 

4. Favorite moments as a dad? Least favorite moments?
Favorite:  Tie...

                             a.The look on Jack's face when I get home from work

                             b. Hearing "Dadd-o" over and over

                             c. Just hanging out and being stupid together

Least favorite:  Drop off at daycare.  Nothing is worse or even close.

 

5. Advice for dads-to-be?

Where to begin?  Going with the theme, here's another bulleted list.  Perhaps a powerpoint would be more appropriate?

• The first 6 months is all mental preparation.  Your body will survive, it's your mind that needs to be ready.
• Lots of bibs and lots of wipes.  Do I need to elaborate, or does this get the point across?
• The first 3 months is more about mom than baby.  The baby will survive, and you will survive.  Focus on mom, and make her life easier.  She has been and is going through more, and it sucks.
• Toys are not necessary.  Whatever you receive from friends and family is too much.  You only need trash to make the child happy and curious.
• Don't skimp on the stroller.  It actually does need to be indestructible.
• Enjoy every phase.  Each one has its annoyances, but they're over with soon, and they never come back.  You'll miss them much like an old roommate you still make fun of on Facebook (so I've heard).
• Be mindful of the monkey-see, monkey-do phase.  I really underestimated this one.
• Don't eat the baby food to teach them how to eat.  It's gross.  Eat a cheeseburger instead.
• Breathing through your mouth does not make it smell any better in that room...it's an unavoidable disaster and dilemma, and your child won't stop smiling.
• Toddlers sweat and stink like junior high kids.  I did not know this and would have appreciated a warning.  Consider this yours.

 

 

some more recents but no less adorable...

 

 

thanks so much tom for taking time to share with me and allowing me to then share it with anyone and everyone who needed a little dad-spiration :)

*note: sorry the formatting went all crazy! fixed now i hope, let me know if you are still seeing it!